This is How We Roll

More big changes happening in the Reddick household!  We are getting closer and closer to the boys coming home and everything seems to be falling into place.

The boys due date, June 21st is tomorrow! Believe me, I was really disheartened when I realized we would not have any boys home a few weeks ahead of their due date, as the doctor initially anticipated.  So here we are, on day 72 and I REALLY think we're almost there!  The cribs are all put together, the mini van has been purchased, now all we need are babies!

Brennen at 2 months

Brennen was taken off all oxygen support today, and at the time of this posting, still doing really well!  He weighs in at 6lbs. 2oz!  He is still breathing pretty fast, so we have not been able to try him with a bottle consistently, but if the way he goes to town on his pacifier is any indication, I think he'll be a champ!  He really is the sweetest lil' guy who loves to be cuddled, especially while he's being fed.  He has some pretty bad reflux and it helps him to get through without alarms if someone is holding him.  Personally I  think he's figured out that Graham and Liam both get held when they get their bottles, so he thinks it's only fair that he's held too! I am trying not to get my hopes up, as I had always thought in my mind that we would be staying a few weeks longer than his brothers, and likely come home with oxygen support, but that might not be the case now.  Who knows, he could just get it all figured out and fly on out the door!

Graham at 2 months

Graham is the epitome of the phrase slow and steady....and BIG!  He weighs in at a whopping 8lbs. 15oz!  He's definitely sporting the double chins, but he pulls it off so well!  Unfortunately he has not made any great strides at taking the bottle, even though we have been working with him for over a month now.  He will more than likely come home with a feeding tube in place.  If this happens, they will teach us how to change his tube and give him his feeds, while still working with him on taking the bottle.  For some reason it feels like an especially long road we have traveled with this guy...maybe it's because he's been stuck in the same place for so long without much progress.  At this point, I just want him home and am willing to do what it takes for him to be here.  He definitely likes his snuggle time too, especially when it's with one of his brothers!

Liam at 2 Months

Liam has made some big strides over the past few weeks.  He went from barely taking a quarter of his feeds and breathing fast, to taking almost all his feeds with relative ease.  I don't know if I've explained it before, but in order to come home they have to take all of their feeds over the course of 48 hours and not lose any weight.  One of our primary nurses, Miranda, who knows they boys very well, thinks he will get to come home very soon...maybe even this weekend or the first of next week! He weighs in at 7lbs. 3oz.  He is very alert and just loves looking around and taking everything in.  I can't wait for him to experience more than the boring old NICU unit!

Besides what has been happening with the boys, we've also had a lot of other events going on at our house!  Addie turned 4 on June 11th and we went to Indiana to celebrate with our families.  I think she was especially spoiled this year, and received an abundance of my little pony and princess items!  She too is anxious for the boys to be home, mainly so we don't have to drive to the hospital anymore.  I couldn't agree more.

Brothers - Brennen, Graham and Liam at 2 Months

We also sold our SUV and have officially become mini-van drivers.  Kind of a hard pill to swallow, but in all honesty, I kind of like it!  Although I did have a moment of self pity yesterday when I was heading to the hospital, rocking out to Florence and the Machine.  I've definitely lost the cool factor! 

Lastly, we found out at the beginning of the week that Brandon has been transferred to work at Haworth's headquarters in Holland, MI. This is definitely an answer to one of our prayers, as we have been hanging out here in Rockford, about 50 minutes south of where he was working in Big Rapids, with the hopes that some day we would be able to move to Holland and settle down.  So that means there will be a move sometime in our future...We'll start taking volunteers now because I imagine with three newborns we'll need the help!

Birthday Girl Ariel

Addie turns 4!

I am ending this blog optimistic that the next time I write it will be to let all of you know that Liam has been discharged from the hospital! 

Check out this Bad Boy - This is How we Roll!

 

Looking Toward the Future

I feel a need to blog right now...does that make me an official blogger or something?!? I originally intended this blog to be an update about my pregnancy and the boys, and while it will still serve that function, I'll admit, it's become a bit like therapy for me, especially after rough days at the hospital.  So as the boys continue to improve and eventually come home (we WILL be partying when that happens), I figure this will transition into something more of a glimpse into what is sure to be come a crazy life! 

It's been a bit since I last posted and it seems a lot has happened.  It's been a very emotional day for me, as I officially resigned my position at Haworth to become a full time mom to 4 beautiful children.  I consider myself so blessed to be given my kids, especially 3 at once, and feel this is what I am supposed to do at this point in my life.  If you had asked me when I was graduating college where I would be in 10 years, I would not have said a mother of four.  But, I guess someone way more powerful than me had different plans, and who I am to try to fight it?  Now I am sure there will be moments of regret about giving up a job I truly enjoyed doing with people I enjoyed working with (just a minor freak out in the car on my way home).  I am also 100% sure there will be moments when I am going out of my mind with three little boys running around and crave adult interaction. I am also terrified about running a household with four kids and one income, but as my mom says, I just have to embrace the challenge and make a game out of seeing how much we can do with less.  The important thing is everyone is happy and healthy, the rest will come.


I haven't been to the hospital yet today, probably make that trip soon, but I can report the boys are doing so well and improving every day!  Brennen has surpassed the 5lb. mark and is 5lbs. 4oz., Graham is a monster 7lbs. 8 oz., and Liam is 5lbs. 14oz.  It is so fun to see their little personalities develop.  Of course they will probably laugh when reading this in the future at what I THINK they will be like!

Brennen, off CPAP!

Brennen is now off his awful CPAP and on nasal cannula.  He is doing so well and makes me happy that I stepped up and fought for his right to move forward when the docs wanted to keep him on CPAP.  I am just overcome with emotion when I look at him and think back to just a month ago when he was fighting so hard against the staph infection.  I must say he has a lot of spunk and lets you know immediately when he needs changed.  He has to have all that spirit to overcome what he has gone through.


Graham is continuing to learn how to nipple and slowly improving.  His laid back 'tude just makes me smile, but I also hope it doesn't get in the way of him coming home, because I know he can do it if he would just wake up for feedings!


Liam is now off oxygen and breathing all on his own.  I was able to nurse him last night for the first time ever and it was a wonderful to be able to relax with him.

Graham, in a milk coma

Last week we had the best night at the hospital with Addie.  She held Liam for over an hour and it was like the mutual admiration society.  Liam just stared and Addie and she right back.  She held him during one of his feedings, which normally cause him a lot of distress, but with her, he sailed through and did not have one alarm.  While she was holding Liam, I held Graham and Brandon held Brennen.  I pictured that it could be like that a lot at home! Addie went to school the next day and told everyone that she got to hold one of her brothers, but she wasn't sure which one, but he stared at her the whole time! 


Addie is a lucky girl and gets to spend the week in Indiana with her grandparents.  She'll be 4 years old on Monday and wants to have a My Little Pony party.  I am so proud of her and how she is adapting to becoming a big sister.

Addie and Liam

Just to solidify my new position as domestic engineer (or whatever they call stay-at-home mom's these days) I  just tackled the monumental task of doing dishes and cleaning out the refrigerator.  Sadly enough, cleaning can also be very therapeutic!



Okay, I am finished gushing about my kiddos.  This day seems impossibly long, although it's only 7:15, but writing it all out makes me feel so much better, and secure in my decision.  So thanks for caring! 

Slow and Steady

Slow and Steady...that is the mantra I keep repeating over and over in my head.  You see, I had an it in my mind that the boys would start coming home at a certain time (like next week) based on what the doctor had told us, and now it is clear that is not going to happen.  I just can't even describe the unsettled feeling I have, and don't think it will go away until Brennen, Graham and Liam are all home (and we have the cribs set up and a mini van purchased).  

Things have not changed much over the past weeks, just VERY SLOW.  Brennen is still on CPAP and it breaks my heart every day to see him to miserable. It's kind of a chore to get him out to hold him, but it's well worth it when he settles in falls fast asleep on my chest. The doc is hoping to try him off next week, so I am praying he will do well and be able to breathe with the help of the nasal cannula.  Graham is breathing on his own, and it sounds very simple to say all he has to do is learn how to eat and he can come home.  BUT, the little guy is very laid back and likes to sleep a lot rather than wake up to eat!  I think he has it figured out that if he doesn't take a bottle, he'll still get his fill delivered right to his tummy!  Liam is on nasal cannula, and seems to be the most alert and curious of the three, but his breathing is not slow enough to try to give him a bottle, so for now, he's just hanging out looking around with his wide inquisitive eyes!  

I would prefer not to be a regular at the children's hospital, but for now, that is our life.

Lil' Brennen, taking a peek

Cute smile from Graham

Liam taking a rest

Big sister Addie at the zoo

  

Waiting....

Brennen, Graham and Liam have been in the hospital for 48 days.  I met a mother in the elevator lobby this afternoon whose son was just discharged and he had been there for 115 days.  She was absolutely glowing and practically racing out of the hospital!  I cannot wait to have that feeling myself and am hoping the day(s) are quickly approaching.

We are definitely playing the waiting game at this point.  The boys are all stable and making forward progress most days, but there are still days that they take a step or two backwards and those are the hard days.  Things can change in a matter of hours, we can leave in the evening with everyone doing well, and come back the next morning to news that one, two or all of them had a rough night and and a set back.  I just keep telling myself that the end is near and this whole experience will be just a blip on the radar a year or two from now!


Brennen is getting stronger every day.  Although he only weights 4lbs. 3oz. he is a little spit fire and gives the nurses a hard time.  I think the CPAP is making him cranky (can't blame him).  Hoping he can come off of it in the next week or so.  I think he'll be a much more pleasant baby when that happens! 

Graham is breathing fairly well on his own without any support and now we are just waiting for him to breath steady enough to try bottle or breast feeding.  I have found that this is easier said than done, as we have only been able to attempt it once in the past few weeks.  The doctors think the VSD (hole in his heart) could be contributing to this, so the cardiologist is going to take a look and let us know if this is the case and needs to be treated.  In my mind, I had Graham coming home as early as two weeks, but it could be longer (and my heart sinks at the thought).


Liam is on high flow nasal cannula, which is a step down from regular nasal cannula.  We're hoping this is only a temporary change and he'll be able to go back on regular cannula.  We can't attempt to bottle or breast feed him while he is on the high flow.  The good news is his breathing is pretty steady and he seems very interested in breast feeding!

The highlight of the week was holding all three of them at the same time.  It was amazing to see how they settled in so well with each other.  They like to reach around and find each other, grabbing on to arms, legs and faces as they find them.  Graham was not bothered one bit when Liam ended up laying on him.  Payback from when they were in the womb!

We also won the March of Dimes Kangaroo-a-thon and got a snazzy little gift basket!  The contest ran for two weeks and every time we held the boys skin-to-skin, we were entered into a drawing.  We did A LOT of baby holding and it was amazing!  I only feel slightly bad that we had three times the chances as everyone else!

Also looking on the bright side, we are not quite ready for the boys to come home.  The cribs are not set up and we don't have a mini van yet!  Anyone willing to pitch in and help putting together 3 cribs and a dresser is welcome to come over any time!  

Graham and Brennen

Graham, Liam and Brennen- The TRIFECTA!

 

The First Month

It's hard to believe it's been a month since the boys were born.  Some days it feels like time is flying by, but others it seems to stand still.  The past few days have been really good for all the boys, as they have all made some big steps. 

Cuddling up with Graham and Brennen

Yesterday was a pretty exciting one month birthday.  I was able to hold Graham and Brennen at the same time!  It was so amazing to hold them both and watch as they settled in next to each other at long last.  I swear they starting doing the same motions with their hands, and even the stats on their monitors were very close...I'm sure they missed each other. 

Today was also a very special day, as we were able to get them all together for their one month pictures!  It brought me to tears to see them all snuggled up next to each other!  Poor Brennen wasn't able to interact much because of his cpap, but Graham and Liam ending up quite close and comfy with each other!  We also brought Addie down to see them and were able to get our first family photo!  

First Family Photo

Addie is still partial to Graham but has decided that it's best if he doesn't sleep in her room with her!  She also says that all the boys are her buddies now and she can't wait to hold them.  Brandon took her to the wishing fountain in the hospital today and she dropped in three pennies.  Brandon asked her why she put in three pennies and she said because she has three brothers.   

Graham has been off cpap for a couple of days and is tolerating it well and is not requiring any extra oxygen.  He hit 5lbs. tonight and the next step is to try bottle feedings with him.

Graham

Liam was taken off of cpap today and was given a nasal cannula to give him a little bit of support.  He's only been off since this morning, but seems to be doing well so far.  It's amazing what a difference it makes to their moods to have the cpap out of their noses.  It's like they are different, happy little guys...can't say I blame them!  

Liam

After a rough couple of weeks, Brennen appears to be on the upswing.  The infection took quite a toll on his body, and they are still keeping a close eye on him to ensure he is stable and there are no lasting effects.  He is back on cpap now, down from this machine called IPPV that gives him an extra burst of air between his breathes to help keep his lungs inflated.  He is doing well on the cpap, so we're hoping he keeps moving forward from here.

Brennen (with CPAP briefly off)

We had a meeting with the neonatologist Dr. Doctor (yes, that's his real name) today and he was pleased with all of their progress and said that Graham and Liam are exceeding expectations. Brennen has a lot of catching up to do, but he's still doing well considering everything he has been through.  The doctor can never tell us for sure when they will get to come home, but he expects Graham and Liam to be home a few weeks ahead of their original due date of June 21.  He thinks that if Brennen keeps improving at a steady pace, he'll be home before then too.  

Brennen, Graham and Liam

I can't tell you how happy I feel after the past couple of days.  I admit, I was at my breaking point on Monday morning and had a little melt down when I got to the hospital.  I am thankful for the nurses that are following the boys.  Not only are they there taking care of them, but they have also been a great source of support for me.  One nurse, Kathy, said something that is so true, "We ask how people are doing and the standard response is 'fine', but it doesn't have to be fine."  I am happy to report that today I am fine, but I reserve the right to feel less than fine at any point in the future! 

Proud Sister!

 

Save My Sanity

I have the funniest little girl!  Her love and humor definitely helped me get through the week.  She gave me a lot of laughs when I really needed it.  Highlights included her singing a song of words that rhymed with "Stitch".  I really couldn't help myself when she landed on a choice word that started with a "B".  Luckily, she had no clue what she was saying.  I felt a little guilty for laughing, but like I said, I needed a laugh!  Last night she made me go crazy by thinking I had misplaced the dvd remote.  I was frantically looking for it for a few minutes before I went back into the living room (for the third time), and noticed her sitting coyly on the couch.  I said, "Addie, do you have the remote?" to which she burst out laughing.  Of course I couldn't help laughing too. 

Addie also has a little connection with Graham.  We think it's because he is not closed up anymore, and therefore more accessible. We were talking last night about how excited we are for the boys to be home.  Addie is most excited about holding Graham first because he is her "buddy" and because he is "open". 

Brandon also helped save my sanity by doing the dishes when I just couldn't take it any more, folding me laundry (he is a MUCH better folder than me), and thankfully, taking a 1/2 day yesterday to be there when I was at my breaking point.  There is a fine balance to be had between being at the hospital with the boys and being home with Addie.  I feel we are doing a pretty good job at this, but with Brennen having a rough time this week, I could not help wanting to be there as much as possible.

Thankfully, Brennen seems to be improving a little every day.  The doctors could not find any particular reason for his regression, other than the infection taking a toll on his body, combined with prematurity.  He is still on IPPV respiratory support, which is one step above CPAP, but he is doing well at this level and has avoided having to be re-intubated.  I FINALLY got to hold him again today after not being able to do so since last Tuesday.  It was exactly what I needed, and I think he enjoyed it as much as I did; settling down the instant I put him on my chest.


Graham and Liam continue to do well.  They are both big eaters and gaining weight like champs.  They still both struggle with alarms after their feedings (something about the full bellies makes it harder to breathe), but we are told this is normal for preemies as well.  


I have a hard time keeping track and remembering all their stats (writing it down might help), but as of last night Brennen was 3lbs.12oz., Graham was 4lbs 10oz. and Liam was 4lbs! 


We are approaching the one month mark in a few days.  I would like to say that time has flown by, and at times it has, but other times it seems like an eternity.  All in all I think the boys have made great progress and I'm excited to see what the next month brings.  With any luck we'll have them home!

Now let's play a little game we call "Name that baby"  Admittedly, if we don't label the pictures we take immediately after we take them, it's hard to tell the little guys apart already, especially when they have their cpaps off.  Answers below.

1.

2.

3.

  



1. Liam; 2. Brennen; 3. Graham

Thankful

We have a lot to be thankful for...

• Thankful that Brennen is on the mend and does not have meningitis, a big relief!

• Thankful for the nurse (Megan) that knows Brennen so well that she realized right away that he was not himself and took action.

• Thankful for all the nurses and doctors that are taking good care of our boys, but especially for the ones that have taken the time to get to know us and, more importantly, take the time to make sure we understand what they are saying.

• Thankful for all the progress the boys are making...trying not to get too anxious for their homecoming, we know they are where they need to be right now.

• Thankful that Addie loves her little brothers and has already latched on to Graham, calling him her "Buddy". 

• Thankful for the thoughtfulness and generosity of so many friendly people here in West Michigan!

• Thankful for the help of friends and family.  Couldn't have made it through these last weeks without three visits from my mom!

• Thankful for the last Klondike bar that was left in the freezer....goodnight!